Willpower and How to Stick to It!

Just as your body needs practise to perform a yoga asana, your brain needs repetition to learn a new language, your mind also needs training to effectively serve you to live a calm, happy and healthier life. When you train your mind, you’ll also gain willpower and determination. These characteristics help you to, for example, make that yoga asana an advanced posture or open yourself to experiment with new vocabulary. A calm, trained mind can do anything from disconnecting from your limiting beliefs to living a happier, healthier life while following your calling.

Why should you train willpower?

At the start of something new, everything seems exciting, but whoever you are, wherever you are from, the excitement starts to fade and after a while and you get frustrated, lazy, indifferent or unconcerned, and give up on our goals. Training your willpower will make your process more motivating by setting realistic processes and end-goals.

‘As long as you want it, everything is possible’ is a myth.

This is striving for superficial happiness. Happiness doesn’t make you successful, and success doesn’t make you happy. Happiness can bring success if you know how to, and continue to, balance pleasure, strengths and fulfilment.
You could say: ‘As long as you’re striving for the right thing, it’s possible’. 

 

Ready to learn how you can actually stick to your willpower and determination?

 

1. Letting go of unrealistic goals

These are goals that take up too much time and goals that are not in your reach right now. Wanting too many things at the same time requires too much effort from your body and mind and in the end limits your success. Choose quality over quantity!

E.g.: working out 7 times a week, exhausting yourself and, as a result, not wanting to return to the gym after a couple of weeks.

Or: Working your bum off on your online business, hoping to see your bank account grow from 0 to 10.000 in one month.

 2. Replacing those goals with realistic goals

To achieve and have success, we need to combine pleasure, strengths and fulfilment by taking small steps. Taking smaller steps gives you the opportunity to celebrate your little successes and actually grow according to where you are in life right now. You’ll feel less competitive, less frustrated and instead, calmer, more grateful and happier.

E.g.: Work out 3 times a week and you’ll notice you have more motivation and maybe even miss the gym on the days you don’t go. This will make you stick to your routine longer and have a more positive effect in the long run.

Or: Starting a business takes time, patience and effort. Lowering your expectations will make you feel less defeated when you don’t reach your goal, more determined when you do reach your goal and will surprise you when you overachieve (do better than your goal).

3. Routine and habits (check out our earlier blog about routines and habits).

Rituals and routines are the only accepted methods when it comes to automatic behaviour. People with a (healthy) routine are more likely to reach their goals, fulfil their wishes and meet deadlines.

 

Your body truly integrates a (healthy) habit after 66 days and thereafter will start to miss it when you’re not performing it. Therefore, give yourself time to adapt to new and healthy actions in your routine and stick to them. Need help with shaping your routine? Read the ‘blame the brain’ blog and download the worksheet.

4. The words you use or tell yourself 

Speak positively to yourself and your actions will change. Your brain doesn’t like words such as: ‘not’, ‘none’, ‘never’, ‘no one’. Telling yourself things such as: ‘I’m not going to eat sugar anymore’, or ‘I’ll never get up late from now on’ are first of all unrealistic and unnecessary, but it also takes time for the brain to then find out what it’s supposed to do instead! Telling yourself: ‘I’ll eat more fruit instead of sugar’, or ‘I’ll set my alarm and get up earlier’ not only sound more achievable but the brain also understands what it’s meant to do straight away.

5. Doing it, not just thinking it 

There’s no such thing as ‘the right time’ and no one else to blame but yourself. ⁠Here’s a list of the top 5 best excuses used by professional procrastinators:

  • ⁠‘Now’s not the time.’ or ‘I’m not good enough’. (worrier)
  • ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’ or ‘Monday, or next month’. (defier: someone who resists)
  • ‘First, I need to…’ or ‘I can only do it when I have …’ (perfectionist)⁠
  • ‘I must do it all, or nothing at all.’ (over-doer)⁠
  • ‘But do I need to do all of that myself?’ (dreamer) ⁠⠀

Do you recognise yourself in any of these? Do you know why you procrastinate? Or what type of procrastinator you are?

 

Procrastination consumes your willpower. The more the think of something you need to do,⁠ the more your brain thinks it’s already doing it. The longer you procrastinate for, the more tiring it gets and you’ll end up not doing it at all or doing it reluctantly and therefore not to the best of your ability.

Ready to start building your own business?

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.

The Key to Your Happiness

You might think that money, success, power, popularity or a partner bring you happiness. And even though they fill up your heart with joy, these external and superficial ‘things’ only bring you temporary satisfaction. The key to your happiness is a combination of three things: pleasure, strengths and fulfilment. 

To find out in which things you find these three key elements you could ask yourself what you’d do if you only had one more month to live, or a week, or a day, or a few hours. This thought might  sound surrealistic, but ask yourself and take a minute to think about your answer. ‘What would you do if you only had a limited time to live?’ Or: ‘If you died now, what regrets would you have about the way you are living (your life) now?

The answer to these questions are the things that you’re bringing into action today, not tomorrow, next week or whenever you have time; TODAY!

Did you answer you wanted to have more time with your parents? Then go visit them. If you can’t, video call them. If you wrote down you would have wanted to be more creative or write a book, start today. Studies have shown that if you do something that brings you pleasure, in which you can use your strengths and find fulfilment at least once a week, you’ll experience significantly more happiness and satisfaction in your life.  

Some handy definitions to find the keys to your happiness:

Pleasure:

What do you enjoy the most? Now, don’t tell me that it’s ice-cream or a morning of self-care. We all do! And though there’s nothing wrong with that, I’d like you to become curious about your deepest senses of pleasure. Ask yourself: ‘What do I truly desire?’. Write down your answer or say it out loud. If you don’t have an answer, repeat. Repeat today, tomorrow, the day after or as long as you need to find your answer to where you find true pleasure.

Strengths:

Your strengths are your superpowers. Focus on your strengths instead of improving your weaknesses. Working on your weaknesses requires a lot of your energy and doesn’t get you much further. This doesn’t mean you can ignore your weaknesses, but spending time and energy on something that will only have little effect, is demotivating. Focussing on your strengths, however, isn’t only more enjoyable but you’ll also see true development straight away and it provides you with the possibility of becoming an expert in your particular strength. When choosing what strengths you want to focus on, consider the following questions: 

  • ‘Does it inspire me and give me energy?’
  • ‘Do I experience personal growth when I use it?’
  • ‘Do I consider this strength part of me?’

If all of these questions have a positive outcome. You may well have found your answer to your ‘calling’ – read down below. 

If you find it difficult to name your strengths, have a look at VIA Character Strengths. They have a fun, free test for you to find out your biggest strengths.

Fulfilment:

A feeling of satisfaction you experience when you live up to your values. Your values are the things that give you meaning and you find truly important. You don’t create values; you have them. If you don’t know them, you’ll need to uncover them.
Be curious: talk with others, write and journal, think of the things you would want to be remembered for. In the end, it always comes down to ‘having made a positive impact in someone’s life’. Whether it’s teaching or providing someone with their perfect pair of shoes, we all have our own ‘calling’. 

It is important to keep a balance between pleasure, strengths and fulfilment. Focusing too much on one of them actually works counterproductively. When you spend an equal amount of time on these three elements, you get into the so-called ‘flow’. This same flow is used to describe your yoga class!

Yoga flow:

Yoga Flow: Fluid and dynamic movement through asanas combined with a focus on the breath which generates a meditative state and feeling of presence or being in the present moment.
Flow (as used in mindfulness training): where pleasure, strengths and fulfilment meet.

Psychologist Csikszentmihalyi researched the concept of flow and came to the conclusion of six components: 

  • Intense focused concentration in which time seems to go as fast as it is slow.
  • Intense presence and motivation in which you find true pleasure in what you’re doing.
  • Merging of action and awareness: not thinking of the end-goal but carrying out the steps.
  • Loss of self-consciousness: you’re not distracted by anything or anyone.
  • Sense of control over the situation or activity, but still having a clear goal.
  • Balance between pleasure, strengths and fulfillment: it’s not super easy, but not too challenging. 

How do you get into this flow? 

Flow exists, but it’s not up for grabs. However you can create your own flow by living up to your values and train your awareness and mindfulness on a regular basis. Focus on what you have now and enjoy the process, instead of listing all the things you want to achieve and getting frustrated with yourself because you haven’t done them yet. 

Create more flow in your life and business, today...

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.

Awareness Before Anything

Imagine your computer crashing and shutting itself down. You restart and for a while, it works, but then it repeats the same action. Would you ignore and just keep restarting hoping that the problem eventually solves itself? Or would you contact a technician and sort the problem?

In our modern society, we often live on autopilot. We do the things we do unconsciously, without awareness, just because it’s a habit. Think of this simple question: ‘How are you?’ How often have you answered: ‘I’m good’ straight away, without thinking? 

Today, I’d like you to bring some awareness to how you really feel inside the body and the mind; emotionally and physically and, if you like, spiritually.

Train your awareness before anything.

During the day, your body gives off a countless amount of unpleasant sensations that are signals that you are very likely to ignore. A tingling in your limbs, shrugged shoulders, even losing your train of thought. They’re globally accepted and waved away as if it’s nothing. In the moment it’s nothing to worry about, but it’s your engine trying to draw your attention to your body’s needs which you’ve lost awareness of. 

Why do you want to be aware of your body?

Being aware of the body helps you to stay goal-orientated, waste less time (online), consume more healthily and eventually become happier, stress-free, and live a more fulfilling life. 

What stops you from being aware?

There are many factors that ask for our attention. Every day you look at your phone, laptop or whatever device, probably multiple times. You might have children, a demanding job, meetings and social gatherings (online). But, don’t start blaming all these external distractions! 

It’s the way you interpret these interactions. 

The number one factor that stops you being aware is stress. From mild  to chronic stress. 

Do you get stressed out by a full email box? A queue in the supermarket? Or your screaming (grand)children?

The way you handle so-called ‘stressful situations’ says a lot about how you feel in your body. When training your awareness you’ll find ways to calmly navigate these situations rather than letting them affect your wellbeing time after time. 

Fun fact:

Open posture and lifting the corners of your mouth lower your stress levels and increase your happiness! Ever heard of the term ‘herd animal’? Your mind works the same. If you smile, the mind thinks that you’re happy and follows what happens in the body.

Ready to build your business with awareness and intention?

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.

How to stick to habits, routines and New Year’s Resolutions

How to stick to habits and routines and why you didn’t succeed before.

Isn’t it wonderful?! The new year gives you a brand new chance to start over! A new beginning and an opportunity to clear limiting beliefs, set goals and get excited about giving yourself a fresh start. 

Many, including myself, set new year’s resolutions. We’re optimistic and hit the new year thinking that this year everything is going to be better, healthier, easier or  whatever. 

Two weeks into the new year, these resolutions suddenly don’t seem that easy anymore. You fall back into ‘old’ habits, lose your excitement and they start to fade. 

Sounds like you? That was me year after year. But, not anymore and I’ll show you how to turn YOUR New Year’s Resolutions into a part of you as if it’s always been that way. 

Download this worksheet that will help you to really stick to your new habits and routines.

Let’s have a look:

 

1. Remembering your reasons why 

When doing anything in life, the most important thing to know is the reason WHY! Before we start a project or learn something new, there always IS a reason WHY we want to start it in the first place. Think of the reason why you eat. It’s obvious, because you’re hungry and need fuel for your body. 

Now, why do you practise yoga? Or why do you want to improve your English skills? 

The reason why is your motivation. When we forget the reason behind our wish or desire for change, our motivation starts to fade. We don’t see the importance of it anymore: we simply think it isn’t as necessary as we thought initially and, eventually, we give up.

Think or write down your New Year’s Resolutions or a desire or wish you have to change. If you have written them down with me during the New Year’s Resolution Setting Workshop, go to your page or paper and lay it in front of you to answer the following questions:

 

  1. When did you first think of this change you wanted to make?
  2. What was your motivation at the time? What is it now?
  3. Where will you be (physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually) after you’ve achieved this change?
  4. How will you feel after you’ve achieved this change?
  5. Who could help you or hold you accountable while you’re making this change and maintaining it?
  6. Look at the answers above and summarise WHY you want this change. 

If you’re doing this with a friend, exchange your ideas. Reading them out loud to yourself in the mirror could also help you emphasise your reasons why and motivation

 

2. ‘Replace’ instead of ‘restrict’

In ‘Blame the Brain’ we’ve already mentioned it. Restriction is asking for trouble. The more we tell ourselves not to do something, the more we want it. Just telling yourself not to  give in, especially when it’s a long-term habit, has a positive effect only for very few people.

Replace your habits, unwanted actions, thoughts and behaviour with the things, like needs and wishes, that you actually desire. 

When your body and mind are used to getting something or if you experience regular cravings, research shows that the easiest way to deal with these feelings is by  ‘tricking’ the body and mind. Going for a healthier option, but still meeting its wishes in a way.

This way it’s not only easier for you to stick to your new habit, eating patterns or resolutions, it will also help prevent you t from falling back into old habits

Example: 

If you want to ‘quit eating sugar’ – eat a piece of fruit when you have a sugar craving instead, or replace it with nuts, natural (pea)nut butter or raisins for example. Your body will still get some of what it feels it needs. If you replace processed snacks containing added sugars with the natural sugars of fruit or the beneficial fats in peanut butter and nuts, you’ve immediately replaced your unhealthy craving with a nutritious one. You’ll have satisfied your craving to some extent, so you won’t need your old habit so badly.

If you’re looking to limit your procrastination – go for a walk instead of spending hours browsing social media. During your walk your brain gets stimulated and most often inspired. You might even want to listen to a podcast that encourages you to keep up your good behaviour.

3. Turn your failures into a learning experience

During my yoga teacher training I learned to celebrate my wins and let go of losses. If you focus on the things you have achieved and let go of the things you didn’t do, you don’t only shift your focus, but it also stimulates and pushes you to do more. It helps you to cultivate a ‘gratitude attitude’, boosts your self-esteem which altogether leads to more success.

Embrace the concept of trial-and-error and don’t be afraid of making mistakes or falling back into old habits/relapsing from time to time. Know that errors are necessary to learn, make progress and understand your path, yourself and those around you better. 

I can’t stress it enough: practise and all will come. And if you lose patience or feel defeated, remember all the things you have achieved already! A loss is only a lesson learned and has given you new experience to grow and improve for the better.

Example: 

You wanted to start the year productively, but it’s the 9th of January and you haven’t done anything on your to-do list. You feel useless, desperate and don’t understand how you’ve been able to let it get out of hand already. 

What did you do instead? Did you spend time with your friends or family? Self-care? Yoga asana? Nothing? Even when the answer is nothing, I’m pretty sure that maybe you needed it. Maybe you needed to charge your batteries to get started. Or you needed this time to realise that NOW is your time to do or start something new. 

Don’t beat yourself up. Yesterday is gone, and today is not too late to start! At least you’re rested and feeling less rushed now! 

4. The power of support and community

For a long time I used to be a lone wolf: a person who enjoys doing things alone, my way, simply because I was stubborn. 

Sometimes we choose to do things alone because we’re embarrassed or think these changes are too personal.

But have you ever heard of a one-man success? Have you ever heard of a one-man success? Neil Armstrong didn’t make it to the moon alone! How could any business be successful without its customers? We need each other.  

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in 2020, it’s the power of community and support. Surrounding yourself with people that have similar interests and beliefs or who are going through a similar process or phase in their lives, understand each other. They have something to share. They recognise themselves in you, and you in them. This creates companionship and the voluntary willingness to support each other, help each other AND hold each other accountable. 

People are social beings and want to share with and learn from others. Sharing and learning with others not only makes you feel part of something, it also makes you feel seen, heard, understood and cared for. 

Our community is loving, caring and very involved with each other and I would absolutely love for you to be part of it. But, go with your own gut and search for the people that you click with. You know yourself and your needs best, but don’t try to do it all alone, because this will set you up for failure. 

 

Ready to bring more structure and routine in your business?

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.

Setting New Year’s Resolutions

Setting New Year’s resolutions and making plans you can actually stick to.

How are you feeling about ‘next year’? 2020 has been a whirlwind of emotions and happenings and certainly tested our patience and motivation. We spent hours watching and reading the news and having discussions, trying to understand this new reality. But no one really knew what was going on or which bits of all the news we received were trustworthy. 

We’ve spent our salaries (or savings) on masks, sanitising products and gels, comfy clothes for being at home, and probably ate twice or triple the amount of chocolate, crisps and other junk as we normally do per year. Thinking that maybe by the end of 2020 this joke would be over.

We’re approaching the end of 2020 and borders are being shut, again. Many of us are obliged to stay at home. We (still) can’t see our grandparents, family, friends and have to be inside the house at a certain time. We stay up late and play school camp at home, because our workplaces are closed or we’re on holiday anyway. 

This is just a brief summary of the year that, to me, sounds like that of a shitty fantasy movie about the world going under, but it became our reality.

I’m sure that in your personal and professional life much has changed as well, and now I’m wondering: ‘How do you really feel about this year?’. 

For many the answer is something like this: ‘It’s a year wasted.’ ‘I haven’t been able to do anything.’ ‘All my plans are being put on hold.’ ‘I can’t wait for this nightmare to be over’. 

Some may say: ‘I’ve never been more creative.’ ‘This was a sign from mother nature to start taking care of myself’. ‘I finally got my head round things around the house I’ve been wanting to do for ages.’  

Whichever answer aligns more with you, I’m inviting you to sit down with me and reflect on the year. Reflection, if done with an open mind and willingness to observe instead of judge, can boost your mood and positivity. It helps you to form a fresh perspective, express your gratitude and gives you insight into your wellbeing (mentally, physically and spiritually). 

If you’re reading this, you’re like me and interested in understanding yourself and the world around you better. Chances are that you’ve done quite a lot of reflection this year already. Chances are that you’ve opened up to new learnings and development, and now you’re ready to start 2021 motivated, optimistic, eager and ready to make it your best year yet. 

Before we start, let’s take a moment and acknowledge our past, become present to then dare to make plans for 2021.  

Intuitive Goal Setting Webinar

I’ve always loved the new year, but I’m especially excited about next year, because I believe it’s full of new opportunities. It’s a new beginning that gives you the chance to clear limiting beliefs, set new goals and get excited about giving yourself a fresh start. 

Now, looking back on all that’s happened, how fast did this year go compared to others? Even though, from day to day, you noticed very little changes, this year has probably given you some new insights due to the little amount of external distractions

We’ve gotten used to meeting on Zoom, come up with brilliant inventions and started to work from the comfort of our own bed, online, or maybe found comfort in spending more time in nature.  

But who doesn’t want a fresh start? There’s always something we’d like to improve, right?

Here, I’d like to present to you my type of reflection and goal-setting for the year ahead

In this webinar you’ll 

  • Liberate yourself from expectations and self-imposed pressure to reignite your motivation.
  • Receive a guide to making decisions from a place of connection and alignment.
  • Set strategic goals that match your vision for the year ahead, following 90-day cycles.

What’s included:

  • Workshop session
  • Lifelong access to the recording
  • Workshops, resources and journal prompts.

Ready to build your business with clear goals and intentions?

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.

Self-care for your self-esteem

You’ve all heard the terms at least once: self-care, self-love and self-esteem. In yoga, these terms are included in the Yamas and Niyamas. The Yamas and Niyamas speak about your behaviour, the way we treat ourselves and the world around us. They are the moral ethics of yoga philosophy. Complete the worksheet to really check your understanding and work on your self-care for your self-esteem!

 

Let’s first uncover the meaning of self-care and self-esteem:

What is self-care and what is not?

Self-care consists of activities that help you reach and maintain, mental, emotional and physical health. They could simply be getting a haircut, but they’re also about social, spiritual and professional experiences.  

Online, self-care often looks like a spa day: a picture of candles, bubble baths, a moon ritual, a silent moment of journaling or a walk in the woods. And yes, these are great examples, but don’t meet everyone’s desires or don’t represent what we actually have access to.  

Self-care can also be: ticking off your to-do list, going for a body pump workout, baking or gardening. It’s anything you do to reduce stress levels, make you feel relaxed (afterwards) and most importantly: something that you do for you, without trying to please anyone, because you see others do it, or because you think that ‘that’ is self-care. 

Your type of self-care is influenced by many factors. It may look very different depending on your age, interests, profession, your lifestyle, the place you live, the tools you have access to and the people you interact with. 

Self-care is often confused with being selfish, but being selfish means you do something at the cost of another. Self-care prepares you to be able to serve others better.
 

What is self-esteem and what is it not?

Self-esteem is usually defined as belief in your ability and value, and respect for yourself. But it’s actually got a lot to do with other people. 

Self-esteem is based on your own achievements, but more so on the achievements of your parents, your classmates and co-workers, as well as the love you’ve experienced in your childhood. 

Self-esteem has everything to do with your behaviour, your thoughts, your beliefs and the way you look at or even judge others and the world around you. 

Having achieved less than your guardian(s) will often result in low(er) self-esteem. Naturally, we want to show our parents what we’re capable of, to make them proud, and do better than they have or be better than they are or were. Achieving more than the people around you can make you feel like you’ve accomplished what you think is expected, and this sense of victory can result in higher self-esteem.

The same goes when comparing yourself with your siblings, peers and classmates all the way back to primary school. Hearing or seeing that people you grew up with are doing better than you can easily make you feel defeated if your self-esteem is something you’ve not really worked on.  

The way you were raised and the love you received in your childhood plays a big part as well. Conditional love; the love you receive only if you achieve high grades for example, will lower your self-esteem. Contrarily, unconditional love; feeling loved no matter what you do or have achieved, raises your self-esteem from a young age. 

That said, these are factors that influence greatly, but the character you’re born with also plays a role. Some people are naturally more insecure than others, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t work on it. Low self-esteem will result in living your life in comparison to others, instead of living your life for you, your family and your friends. With this blog, I hope to inspire you to practise self-care and boost your self-esteem to live a more fulfilling life.

Why is self-care important for your self-esteem?

Self-care will help you to stay close to your needs, desires, and true self. It will help you understand what you need, instead of pleasing others. It will help you prevent burn-out, continue to improve and develop, make better decisions and face (daily) challenges. Proper self-care will recharge your energy to serve those and the things that you want to serve in the best way possible. 

Taking care of yourself, checking in with your thoughts, beliefs, needs, desires and current situation will help you understand what you actually want to do with your life. And when you do what you love selflessly and without showing off or asking for affirmation or the attention of others, I assure you that you can truly live your most purposeful and fulfilling life. 

 Sounds romantic, doesn’t it?  

I know this isn’t always an easy task and it requires work, effort, time, practice, patience, acceptance and support. This theme I feel strongly about because, you might have guessed it, I used to have very low self-esteem and knew very little about self-care.  

I don’t regret or wish I had known earlier, because as cliche as it sounds, it has got me where I am now. The work, time and effort I’ve invested in myself has made it possible for me to work with you and, believe it or not, that plays a major part in my most fulfilling life.

 

But I’m not going to leave you empty handed now. 

Download the worksheet by clicking on the button below and receive 4 tools to boost your self-esteem you can start implementing TODAY!

Ready to build your business with total confidence?

  1. Take the quiz: What business model suits you?
  2. Watch the webinar: From Teacher to Business Owner: The Key to Purposeful Entrepreneurship
  3. Check out the course: Build Your Business Foundations

And book your free discovery call to gain clarity and create an action plan to achieve your business goals.